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Jealousy, How do you deal with it?
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Old 10-05-2015, 07:54 PM
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bankerpres bankerpres is offline
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Default Jealousy, How do you deal with it?

Even though we try to avoid it, we all get jealous sometimes. So, my question is: How do others, men or women deal with their feelings of jealousy. I do not want to take the fun out of swinging for my wife when she sees me leave the room.

Explanation:

This question perhaps belongs in the cuckold forum, but we are swingers and I am an equal participant in partner swapping encounters. Therefore, I am not a cuck and have no desire to be one. Likewise, we have been in this lifestyle for 8 years. I realize and agree that feelings of jealousy in this lifestyle should not tolerated. Yet, there are times when I look over at my lovely wife being pleasured by another man like she has never reacted to me and I can't help but feel the green-eyed monster of jealousy rising in my gut. I want to GIVE my wife that pleasure that she is receiving from someone else. Now before someone goes into the little white cock routine, if you would care to check out my cock pic on our profile, you will note that at 10 inches long 7 inches around, my cock is bigger than most men we encounter. Yes I realize that there are 11, 12 and 13 inch cocks out there that put mine to shame, so I am not bragging. Those cocks bigger than mine my wife claims that they are too big for her and she only gives them a blowjob. So, these cocks giving my wife pleasure are usually smaller than me in the 8 and 9 inch range.

Feelings of jealousy do NOT happen all the time. Really, I would have to say that jealousy only occurs on the rare occasions when my wife seems extra sexy and really into the pleasure of her lover. I cannot be the only man in this lifestyle that has to suppress the rage of jealousy every now and then. On the rare occasions when I catch myself watching my wife enjoy herself and the jealousy begins to build, I want to walk over and ripe the guy off of her and pound his brains out. Fortunately, I manage to control my feelings, but they are still there. At these times, I have found that it is best for me to leave the room and go somewhere to collect my thoughts. So, here is the problem. My wife watches me fuck other women like I watch her with men. She always knows on the rare occasions when I leave the room and she tells me that it upsets her because my being there gives her a safe feeling that nothing bad can happen to her. It hurts her feelings because she feels abandoned. As a result, the sex for her is not fun anymore and she stops having sex to go find me. Therefore, I try to find a place to hid so she can't find me and I have time to collect my thoughts. Because feelings of jealousy in this lifestyle is taboo, I am shamed by these feelings because I chose this lifestyle and asked Lisa to join me. As a result, I have never discussed it with Lisa. Even though we try to avoid it, we all get jealous sometimes. I don' t want to continue to hurt her feelings and interrupt her pleasure. So, my question is: How do others, men or women deal with their feelings of jealousy? Is there another way that I could handle jealousy?

Last edited by bankerpres; 10-06-2015 at 09:31 AM..
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Old 10-06-2015, 04:17 AM
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dilligaf698969 dilligaf698969 is offline
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How many times have you really gotten a good piece of ass that might have done something your wife has not done ever. Instead of getting up tight you might ask her after the fact what was getting her so worked up. Then try to do the same thing and maybe she will respond in the same way. It's never to late to try new things. Instead of getting mad watch with a open mind about what is going on, you might learn something. Then if your wife likes it try it on your next partner.
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Old 10-06-2015, 09:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dilligaf698969 View Post
How many times have you really gotten a good piece of ass that might have done something your wife has not done ever. Instead of getting up tight you might ask her after the fact what was getting her so worked up. Then try to do the same thing and maybe she will respond in the same way. It's never to late to try new things. Instead of getting mad watch with a open mind about what is going on, you might learn something. Then if your wife likes it try it on your next partner.


I have frequently learned from my lovers and Lisa has often shared what others have done to her which I find HOT. Then, I try it out on her and we both get really HOT. Her telling me what another man has done to her often gets me to explode way before I want to. When this happens, Lisa just giggles because she knows exactly what she did to me. Most often, I do watch Lisa with an open mind. As I said, these are very rare occasions. But it happened this weekend and it upset Lisa. It had been over a year since the last time that it had happened and we had maybe 100 (not a real number, just a guess) sexual partners in between.

Last edited by bankerpres; 10-06-2015 at 09:18 AM..
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Old 10-08-2015, 10:42 PM
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blackduke blackduke is offline
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I'm a single guy so jealousy never enters into the equation for me but I understand when the male or female half of the couple might get jealous from time to time. we are humans and we have emotions so it's understandable. My advice to everyone who gets that feeling is to remember that you are not that other person pleasuring your partner. No two human beings have the same strength and weaknesses. Jealousy usually comes about when one compares oneself to others. Remember that you have qualities that that other person does not have and vice versa. When you go down the comparison slippery slope that's when things get dicey. Try not to do that.
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Old 10-11-2015, 08:29 AM
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jimbrowski jimbrowski is offline
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I've always maintained that if someone is doing something deliberately that would make you jealous is someone that you can do without. Now, feelings change and its normal and rightful but if it's becoming a problem after 8 years then you should consider weaning off of that lifestyle or getting professional help. Sex is SUPPOSED to be fun; so whether the whole "wife needs me to be in the room to feel safe" notion is accurate and your increasingly jealousy after 8 years; it has to be some psychological issues. You guys may just be getting older and if you plan on continuing in the lifestyle you definitely need professional help. I personally couldnt be with a women that wanted to fuck other men even if she acted as if she needed me but thats just how I am.

Last edited by jimbrowski; 10-11-2015 at 08:32 AM..
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Old 10-22-2015, 03:59 PM
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num1scamp num1scamp is offline
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Jealousy doesn't usually enter the equation with my husband and I . His only demand is that I'm entirely honest with him and I demand the same. I love watching him with other women, it turns me on. I will admit I have gotten jealous when he has been with some of his old girlfriends and I haven't been there. I think it's because I know there were some strong feelings of intimacy between them at one time. One lady he had lived with a long time, he wanted to take me to meet once and I just didn't even want to meet her. She's a talented and gorgeous woman, and I admit I'm jealous of her. But normally it doesn't enter the picture in our relationship. He and I know everything the other does when we play separately and even send each other pics and text often as we are playing.

scamp
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No one is owned!
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Old 10-22-2015, 10:56 PM
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ancientone ancientone is offline
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No man or woman can satisfy the other completely. Each have their likes and dislikes. My wife likes plays. I do not. My wife likes dancing. I do not dance. The wife dances when she has the chance and guys are all over her. She loves their attention. She loves it when a man takes her. This is just who she is. I married her because of who she is. I have no intention of destroying who she is because that is what I love about her. Ya, before we were married I felt jealous of some guy she knew giving her special attention. That was the one and only time I ever felt jealous. The wife loves to come and chat about her extra-marital sexual encounters and I love hearing her tell about those experiences. I am proud to be married to a hot woman. I hope to help her experience more of her sexuality. She is travelling again and will see another strange man tonight and Friday night. This was set up by another acquaintance. This guy will have lunch with her Friday to hear just how things went. When the wife gets back Saturday evening, I will pick her up at the airport and escort her to an Alternative Lifestyle party and leave her there. She met some of the folks that will be there last week and they are looking forward to seeing her there. We have planned her attire to be revealing; no panties/mini skirt, no bra/open leather jacket. This group is energized with the chance to get to know the real Mrs. And, the wife is highly anticipating one guy moving on her. I love that my wife is hot and I love that other men want her. Married 36 years and I still love her as much and for the same reasons I married her. Oh ya, she was a Jesus Freak when I married her. Go figure? I would not want to affect who she is. It is not about me. It is about her feeling great about herself. Jealousy does not enter into my feelings about what she does. If anything, I encourage her to be more of herself. I do not own my wife nor would I want to control my wife. We are equals and I have no worries about losing her. Too bad for all those guys that pass her and turn around for a second look. They don't get to keep her but are welcomed to seduce her.
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Old 10-27-2015, 12:25 PM
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Mustang Alley Mustang Alley is offline
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Ancient your post always reflects how much love you have for your wife. If more men could truly set their wives free like you have then there would be less jealously within the lifestyle.






Quote:
Originally Posted by ancientone View Post
No man or woman can satisfy the other completely. Each have their likes and dislikes. My wife likes plays. I do not. My wife likes dancing. I do not dance. The wife dances when she has the chance and guys are all over her. She loves their attention. She loves it when a man takes her. This is just who she is. I married her because of who she is. I have no intention of destroying who she is because that is what I love about her. Ya, before we were married I felt jealous of some guy she knew giving her special attention. That was the one and only time I ever felt jealous. The wife loves to come and chat about her extra-marital sexual encounters and I love hearing her tell about those experiences. I am proud to be married to a hot woman. I hope to help her experience more of her sexuality. She is travelling again and will see another strange man tonight and Friday night. This was set up by another acquaintance. This guy will have lunch with her Friday to hear just how things went. When the wife gets back Saturday evening, I will pick her up at the airport and escort her to an Alternative Lifestyle party and leave her there. She met some of the folks that will be there last week and they are looking forward to seeing her there. We have planned her attire to be revealing; no panties/mini skirt, no bra/open leather jacket. This group is energized with the chance to get to know the real Mrs. And, the wife is highly anticipating one guy moving on her. I love that my wife is hot and I love that other men want her. Married 36 years and I still love her as much and for the same reasons I married her. Oh ya, she was a Jesus Freak when I married her. Go figure? I would not want to affect who she is. It is not about me. It is about her feeling great about herself. Jealousy does not enter into my feelings about what she does. If anything, I encourage her to be more of herself. I do not own my wife nor would I want to control my wife. We are equals and I have no worries about losing her. Too bad for all those guys that pass her and turn around for a second look. They don't get to keep her but are welcomed to seduce her.
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Old 10-27-2015, 12:43 PM
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Mustang Alley Mustang Alley is offline
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Maybe you're leaving the room on purpose. A bitch move because you know she's gonna get up and come look for you. Because for some stupid reason "she doesn't feel safe" WTH then she shouldn't be there to begin with!! Also you say that you haven't discussed it with her but yet you're posting all this on an account that I've seen both y'all supposedly post from. lol.


Fantasy?

But what does it matter neither is verified so ya could be 12 people in one or one person in 12. The answer is still the same as wayyyyyyy above ^ ...







Quote:
Originally Posted by bankerpres View Post
Even though we try to avoid it, we all get jealous sometimes. So, my question is: How do others, men or women deal with their feelings of jealousy. I do not want to take the fun out of swinging for my wife when she sees me leave the room.

Explanation:

This question perhaps belongs in the cuckold forum, but we are swingers and I am an equal participant in partner swapping encounters. Therefore, I am not a cuck and have no desire to be one. Likewise, we have been in this lifestyle for 8 years. I realize and agree that feelings of jealousy in this lifestyle should not tolerated. Yet, there are times when I look over at my lovely wife being pleasured by another man like she has never reacted to me and I can't help but feel the green-eyed monster of jealousy rising in my gut. I want to GIVE my wife that pleasure that she is receiving from someone else. Now before someone goes into the little white cock routine, if you would care to check out my cock pic on our profile, you will note that at 10 inches long 7 inches around, my cock is bigger than most men we encounter. Yes I realize that there are 11, 12 and 13 inch cocks out there that put mine to shame, so I am not bragging. Those cocks bigger than mine my wife claims that they are too big for her and she only gives them a blowjob. So, these cocks giving my wife pleasure are usually smaller than me in the 8 and 9 inch range.

Feelings of jealousy do NOT happen all the time. Really, I would have to say that jealousy only occurs on the rare occasions when my wife seems extra sexy and really into the pleasure of her lover. I cannot be the only man in this lifestyle that has to suppress the rage of jealousy every now and then. On the rare occasions when I catch myself watching my wife enjoy herself and the jealousy begins to build, I want to walk over and ripe the guy off of her and pound his brains out. Fortunately, I manage to control my feelings, but they are still there. At these times, I have found that it is best for me to leave the room and go somewhere to collect my thoughts. So, here is the problem. My wife watches me fuck other women like I watch her with men. She always knows on the rare occasions when I leave the room and she tells me that it upsets her because my being there gives her a safe feeling that nothing bad can happen to her. It hurts her feelings because she feels abandoned. As a result, the sex for her is not fun anymore and she stops having sex to go find me. Therefore, I try to find a place to hid so she can't find me and I have time to collect my thoughts. Because feelings of jealousy in this lifestyle is taboo, I am shamed by these feelings because I chose this lifestyle and asked Lisa to join me. As a result, I have never discussed it with Lisa. Even though we try to avoid it, we all get jealous sometimes. I don' t want to continue to hurt her feelings and interrupt her pleasure. So, my question is: How do others, men or women deal with their feelings of jealousy? Is there another way that I could handle jealousy?

Last edited by Mustang Alley; 10-27-2015 at 12:46 PM..
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Old 10-28-2015, 04:13 PM
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josuts josuts is offline
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Can only speak about me and ex wife.Bak then when we were into the swinging lifestyle we both had sex with other couples! Sometimes ex wife wanted to fuck another man while i was in front and watching them!
i admit my jealousy lasted only 2-3 sec.After that all went away and i just sit down watching and stroking my cock as she was given pleasure by a fellow countryman of hers with a nice big cock!
She has a preference in big ones either white or black although didn't had the chance to try a black
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