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[Devils_advocate]

This situation had absolutely nothing to do with your husband, so stop trying to justify it in some morbib way. The fantasy is technically role playing with a fictious person in the room. The difference is similar to a woman masturbating, using her imagination and then she is raped obviously against her will or without permission. In this scenario your husband would represent the rape victim, because he had no voice and no control. The example is extreme, but that's the point. In both accounts the person who makes the selfish decision to take something against the wishes( no answer only equals one answer = No) of another. You may just be in denial, but more likely you don't want to be accountable for your actions which is oddly similar to a rapest.
The rules your husband said are not wrong. They were the issues that he felt were important, mostly derived from his own insecurities, which you may have exploited. My point being they are there for a reason, whether the reason is justified is not for me to assume. What I can say is that is if he is your husband and care for him, the fact that he feels it makes it important and therefore should be taken seriously.
Your only chance for redemption is to be honest with your husband, acknowledge your mistake, poor judgement or selfishness and accept the consquences and ultimately be accountable for your actions. If he files for divorce then that is his right, but to continue to hide the truth from him is just another extension of your selfishness, and you seem to know this at the core level else you wouldn't be searching for reassurance on this forum.
The truth and reality of this situation is very factual leaving little room for misinterpretation.
Quickly, you mentioned that sex between you both changed after your infidelity, that feeling is called quilt. What you did seems to be the only variable that changed, which is the key indicator.
The question you should ask yourself is whether you want to continue harming an innocent individual by remaining focused on yourself with little to no regard for him.
And for the record if someone wants to fullfill this fantasy, I suggest not doing it with a married man who is cheating on their wife, because that is selfish as well and destructive.

The truth can never be changed, only interpreted.
Devils Advocate

This information is my opinion from a different perspective and nothing more. Do with it as you will.

[GET BENT]

Originally Posted by Devils_advocate

This situation had absolutely nothing to do with your husband, so stop trying to justify it in some morbib way. The fantasy is technically role playing with a fictious person in the room. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah take myself way too seriously blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .
Devils Advocate

This information is my opinion from a different perspective and nothing more. Do with it as you will.

If it aint broke then Don't Fix it . seriously women had to endure so much hardships and this not being one of them. So Don't worry be Happy