Username: Adonis_Black Date: 10-03-2014 18:34:20 Mood: other Music:

Author Unknown

I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits and experience. I realsie that failing to do so will not only prevent my Dominant and I from having the best experience possible, but it can also lead to physical and emotional harm.

I will try not to manipulate my Dominant. I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should. In other words, I will not Top from the bottom.

I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not comfortable with and on expanding my limits. I will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.

I will accept the responsibility for discovering what pleases my Dominant and will do my best to fulfil Their wishes and desires.

I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused. I know that being a submissive does not mean being a doormat.

I will be courteous and helpful to my fellow submissives. I will share my knowledge and experience with others in the hope that they will learn and benefit from where I have been. I will take time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path.

I will be responsive to my Dominant. I will not try to hide what my mind and both are feeling so that I may assist Them in their responsibilities as my Authority. I know Dominants are not telepaths and I will not expect my Dominant to know thoughts or feelings which I do not share.

I will accept in the responsibility of a scene or relationship gone bad. I will not place total blame on my Dominant when it is not warranted simply because They are the Dominant. I realise things may not work out as they should at time and will try my best to put it behind me and move on.

I will give my submission only to those who can responsibly accept it and desire to receive it. I will not place anyone in the position of Dominating me non-consensually, nor will I give my respect to someone who has not earned it.

I will be obedient to my Dominant even if I disagree with what They are requesting. I realise They have my best interests at heart and often know better than I what I need in a particular situation.

I know that my actions reflect upon my Dominant, and will do my best to help others to see Them in a positive way. I will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Dominant.

Above all, I will wear my title of submissive with honour. I will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or sub-human. I will take pride in who I am and will never show myself in a negative way.

Username: Adonis_Black Date: 10-03-2014 18:36:52 Mood: other Music:

Author unknown

Above all else, a Dominant cherishes their submissive in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives is the greatest gift of all.

A Dominant is demanding and takes full advantage of the power they hold, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from such power over another.

A Dominant is in control of themselves first and foremost, so that they may control others.

As a stern and demanding Dominant, they can cause their submissive to cry real tears; As a consummate lover, they will kiss such tears away without stepping out of character.

In times of trouble, a Dominant will leave the roles behind and be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two individuals.

A Dominant is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality.

A Dominant will never ask a submissive to put them before the submissive’s career or family just to satisfy their own pleasure.

To win a submissive’s mind, body, spirit, soul and love, a Dominant knows they must first win the submissive’s trust.

A Dominant will show their submissive humour, kindness and warmth.

A Dominant must always show their submissive that their guidance and tutoring in knowledgeable and deserving of the submissive’s attention, that the Dominant is a person they can learn from in in whom they can trust their direction.

A Dominant is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, they will fight for their submissive’s honour.

A Dominant proves to their submissive that they are someone who can be leaned upon and depended upon.

When it comes time to teach their submissive a lesson is obedience, a Dominant is a strong and unyielding teacher.

A Dominant will accept no flaw; nothing less than perfection from their student.

Never does a Dominant use discipline without good reason. When they punish their submissive it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand.

A Dominant is always open to communication and discussion; always ready to hear their submissive’s wants and needs.

A Dominant is patient, taking time to learn their submissive’s limits and knowing that as the submissive’s trust in them grows, so to will they grow.

A Dominant never has to demand ritual behaviour from their submissive. Their submissive responds to them out of the want of pleasing them. Compliance comes from the desire to please, not the fear of punishment.

A Dominant understand the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to them.

A Dominant is secure enough to laugh at themselves and the absurdities of life; open-minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.

A Dominant’s tools are mind, body, spirit, soul and love.

A Dominant understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/ther. And B/both of T/them know that love and trust are the only bonds that truly hold.

Username: Adonis_Black Date: 28-01-2014 19:15:59 Mood: full of life Music:

Introduction

From conversations I've had with several submissive women, I have noticed that many of them struggle with how to take on the mantle of a submissive. They want to know what they should do to attract the attention of the kind of dominant man they imagine being with. Such a woman will often begin this journey from instinct and desire alone. It is initially a very private journey because she senses the inherent risks in allowing herself to become vulnerable. At the same time, those same risks, the torments she fantasizes about, and the loss of control inherent in submission fuels her desire. She keeps it under lock and key waiting for her master to show up. To explore those desires, she needs a partner in crime; someone whom she can trust completely and who is skilled enough to draw her hidden submission out of her. Therein lies the rub: finding such a man.

What follows is a recipe or process for submissive women to follow in order to resolve that conundrum. These are the initial steps that need to be taken in order to have her cravings for submission realized in her life. The goal of this process is to help a woman prepare for a relationship that involves a power differential where she is required to submit. It is based largely on my personal experiences helping submissive women work through the issues that arise as they accept those desires. I also bring to this process, as a dominant man, my own (admittedly high) expectations for a woman who desires to develop her submissiveness all the way to accepting the collar of a slave. This is my opinion and I'm not claiming it as a prescription for every submissive to follow. It is probably not applicable to thrill seekers, those looking for casual sex, or the terminally disgruntled, standoffish, or arrogant. This is for those women who have a tender, gentle, vulnerable side that are sincerely seeking congruence in their inner and outer lives. It provides a method of discovery to accept the submissive desire within. While I write this about submissive women, it is likely applicable to submissive men as well, and without regard to orientation. But, I write from what I know so I choose to write this to women interested in or becoming involved in the DM/sf dynamic.

While I define several steps below as The First Acts Of Service, it is not my intention that these steps be followed sequentially. While they do build upon each other in a logical progression, all these acts of service are an ongoing process that will repeat throughout a woman's journey into submissiveness. These are the basics, they're not particularly sexy, and often when things go wrong, its because these things have been forgotten or dismissed.

Before delving into these first acts of service, the submissive woman would do well to find a reason for embarking on this arduous journey. I assume that she feels submissive at her core and she is interested in attracting a dominant man into her life. If she will but think like such a man, she will realize that:

It is she, the submissive woman, that a dominant man desires.

He will regard her as property; valuable property that is to be cherished.

He will accept responsibility for himself, for her, and for the relationship.

He will lead, control and develop that which he owns.

He will prefer to own someone of great value to him.

These First Acts Of Service are provided in the hope that she will use them to increase both her value and desirability to him.