[obie424]

I was born with an undescended right testicle. In my early twenties, it was surgically removed. As a consequence of being a half eunuch, my body never produced enough testosterone so that I have a short, thin penis, which was never able to satisfy my wife in bed. We actively fantasized about her taking a lover. At one point she wrote a letter to John Holmes, but she never sent it. I kept the letter and quote from it now: "If you are in the St. Louis or Chicago area I would very much like to have you as my guest for dinner and dessert. My husband is a very understanding man. He has observed how the sight of the length and breath of your penis and the quantity of your testicles elate me. If you are in agreement I should like very much for him to be a spectator following our meal." Later, our fantasies focused increasingly on her taking a black master to control her completely and to make her exclusive to black sex. A key part of the fantasy was that my other testicle would be sacrificed as a sign of her commitment and as reparations for past treatment of black men. WE role played intricate rituals for a castration ceremony, which were very erotic.
Although I wanted the castration to be only a fantasy, I urged her to take a black lover to the point of pestering her about the subject. At one time we had a black man staying with us for several weeks. When he went out one evening I said within my wife's hearing, "see you real soon" even though he was supposed to be out until very late. I placed my wife in bondage so that she could not move. We did this frequently as part of our sec life. When she was fully restrained, I told her that Ralph and I had agreed that he would become her black master, that it was not her decision to make, and that she was about to discover a world of sexual pleasure she did not even know existed. Unfortunately, she reacted so hysterically that I told her that it was simply another fantasy, but in truth I was hoping that her reaction would have been more positive, paving the way for the real thing. She never did take a black lover, but eventually she took a bull dyke as a lover and ended up leaving me for her. Although she never physically finished the job of my castration, psychologically the job was just as complete.