How to mention this to my wife..
 

I have had this fantasy for 3 years and it won't go away so today I've decided to bite the bullet and make an account for this forum so I can seek advice on how I can start this lifestyle with my wife. We have been married for 7 years, both in early 40s, she is very vanilla we have sex twice a week usually. She doesn't watch porn nor does she own any sex toys. I would like to talk with experienced people about the best way to approach my wife about this. My main fear is that she says no and becomes disgusted by me and our marriage then begins to decline.

Reply
 

It depends on how well you know your wife. After all of the time you've been married, you should know. But reading your comment, you don't think a direct approach would go over well. You may try things such as if you see an interracial couple when you're with your wife, ask her what she thinks about it. Or if you're watching a movie that has an athletic black man, mention how well he's built. Just try subtle things and gauge her reaction. This could take time, so be a bit patient.

Yeah that seems like a good idea, I will try this. Thank you

Hi. New here and in exactly the same position.

I've had the fantasy of either watching my wife fuck a black guy(s) or even watching a sexy stranger do the same IRL.

I've often told myself that fantasies should remain fantasies but the desire grows stronger all the time

We're both in our 50's but look much younger with fit bodies. People assume we must be at it all the time but it's quite the opposite as we let busy lives get in the way so often feel tired etc

I've never really told her my fantasies (as it scares me that it will affect our marriage negatively) but I think she may have an idea from the occasional random non porn related comment

I know she's fucked at least 1 black man before we met (they got chatting in a pub, then went back to hers/his) - she told me it was the biggest cock she ever had (and mine is a bit above average for a white guy) and she particularly liked experiencing the contrast on different coloured skin again each other

She also said a few months ago that if she was ever in the position of dating again, she would likely choose a black guy. I dared to ask her why and she said because she liked how dominant (in persona) they generally are. This upset me a little but also excited me.

She comes across quite conservative but I feel that's because she daren't open up to me the same as I daren't to her.

We did get into a deep chat about our sex life recently and admitted she had a vibrator and does masturbate so feel like we've made a little progress in our chats

So yes, it's what the next move should be. It's very scary but personally, like many others have suggested on the forum, watching some IR porn together would work very well and sure it could become a regular thing and maybe move onto something IRL

Hmmmmm

This is why we need more Black representation!
 

I agree with everything and that's why I say that the media has to have more black representation, to demystify derogatory pejorative terms, to show the world that black people can be anything they want, that's why I vote for more black heroes, more documentaries about black people and more emphasis on this culture!

You wouldn’t have any issue with her wanting to from sounds of things… she would like to is more like it… more like she is afraid you wouldn’t like that or be hurt by it. Bring it up and let her know you’re into it and would like it! Encourage her that you wouldn’t be mad or burdened.

Well said!

I agree
 

At least put the idea in her head and let her know you would be Ok with it.

Over a slightly drunken chat a couple of weeks ago, I reminded her what she'd said about if she had her chance again etc and she immediately began blushing, with a slight smirk on her face and giggling a little. I believe I even said something like "well, if that's what you really desire, I wouldn't be upset as I want you to be happy". It ended there but at least I planted the seed!

Good for you
 

Hope it works out.