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[CUCK WATCHER]

Seven months ago, my wife Amanda and I got started on putting our lives back together after being involved in the cuckold lifestyle. I knew it wasn't going to happen overnight after being in the lifestyle for years. When she began having sex for the fun of it with other men, we started down a rabbit hole. When everything got way to complicated, it was a lot harder to climb out of that hole than it was going down. There was a time when I would have sworn our marriage was finished. But, somewhere deep down we needed each other.

Here we are together seven months later. Honestly, it's not the same and I don't know if it ever will be. I still have dreams where I'm reliving seeing her having sex with black men. Watching her sucking a dude's cock then seeing her licking his cum off her beautiful lips like it was the best thing she ever tasted. And the thing is these dreams seriously excite me in a way that I am bummed out when I wake up and realize it was only a dream. I still have the urge, if you know what I mean. I guess that's why I re-posted some pics and videos to my profile.

I don't know how it is for her, because she is better at hiding her thoughts, at least it seems like she is. But, I got to believe that even though life in general is better now, she still thinks about the sex she had with her black men.

Time will tell how it works out.

John