Am I a cuckold?
 

I am a 50 year old man who believes he has been cuckolded for years.

You tell me what you think.

My wife was raped by a black man with a huge cock and I walked in on it , but I didn't really see what was going on inside the bedroom because it was so dark. All I knew was that when I called her name the door was slammed in my face. I thought she was just 'being my wife'. Slamming doors in my face was normal for her and still is. The weird thing about it was that she actually loved it!


You see we had been to a party that night and she had had a little too much to drink so she told me she was going home. I said OK and she left. A little while later I thought I should go and check up on her. I walked into the house and the back door was unlocked and left a jar, but I thought that she had not closed it properly because she was so drunk. Anyway I started through the house and as I reached the bedroom I called her name and that's when the door slammed in my face. I thought she just wanted to be left alone so I turned and walked away and went back to the party for a little while. It was only when I returned that I found the bedroom door wide open that i thought something was not right.

As I entered the room I found my wife lying on her stomach with the sheets rolled up into a ball and her panties lying on the floor. She had had sex and It wasn't with me! I nearly panicked and started to ask her what happened but she was so out of it (or so I think she was) that she didn't say anything but only moaned.

Then I started looking for signs of semen because she didn't use birth control and I was panicking thinking that she could have been impregnated. So I started feeling up inside her pussy and searching for any sign of semen but I couldn't really tell anything. So I took out my dick which had become hard by this time (I don't know why this happens to men when their wives are fucked but It does) because it was the longest thing I had to search for semen inside her.

Well as soon as my dick was inside she started to moan and buck and grind against my cock like never before (or since). Acting like she was looking for more cock to fuck her deeper and harder. It took me by surprise because I thought she was totally out of it and kind of forgot why I was fucking her in the first place. So I just let grind on my cock a until I came wondering what the fuck just happened?

As I rolled off her she didn't say a word and acted like she was passed out. I lay there worrying about her being pregnant for a while and finally drifted off to sleep.

Needless to say it was a life changing experience.

When we got up the next morning I tried to talk to her about what had happened but she just got mad and said that I had raped her too. So we never have been able to talk about it in any detail, I just have to live with the memory of what happened that night.

Then a strange thing happened later on that day, as there was a knock on the door. When I answered it there was this black guy from the neighborhood who said he wanted to talk to my wife. I yelled for her to come and she spoke with him for a few minutes and I asked what he wanted she said she didn't know.

Up until then we had had a pretty good sex life but then things changed. Sometimes she would make me go 6 months to a year without having sex with her.

During one point in our marriage she moved to Nashville to take care of her mother who was sick, and she would only come home about once a month. I would beg her for sex but she would just look at me when I asked her what was I supposed to do?

Not long after that she moved into the guest room and stopped sleeping in my bed all together. She still sleeps there to this day.

I know for a fact that she has cheated on me in the past because she's told me so.

Now here's the kicker. She says that she does not have a boyfriend, nor does she sleep around.

Now before some of you say that's because I'm lousy in the sack, let me tell you this. I went to boot camp in Orlando, Fla and when we had finished we had a three day pass. My friend told about this female recruit he had promised to meet at a motel but was going to meet another one instead and asked me if I would go and take care of her. I said sure.

I met her and had a great time, she liked it rough and so I gave it to her rough. Anyway I left thinking that was that, I didn't know her name, I was married we had a one night stand, done. But a few days later we are marching in formation and here she come running across the parade grounds calling for me to stop. I have to keep marching or all the guys behind me will march right over me. She breaks ranks as we continue to march telling me to stop, I tell her I can't. She then proceeds to tell me that she's shipping out the next day and asks me where I'm going, but I can't because I don't even know yet. She then gives me a slip of paper with her new duty station info on it and BEGS ME to find her. So I must have done something right! I have never had a woman complain about my having had sex with her, quite the opposite!

Now I am consumed with watching my wife with other men, because I am convinced that she is fucking them behind my back.

Now you tell me, do you think that I am a cuckold or not?

bbc in nyc
 

yes you are. i'd love to meet her.

Maybe, maybe not.
 

It depends on whether you've agreed to this or not. Could you have fallen for her because she acts like such a bitch? If so, you have some masochistic tendencies. By tolerating her behavior, you've tacitly given your permission, and you are indeed a cuck. Like Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Of course, many of us are in this lifestyle by choice, and so I'm not knocking it.

However, if you don't want this and she's really breaking your heart, then divorce her. Even if picturing her with the black guys is a turn-on, she's still treated you horribly. The outcome here will all depend on what you do and not what she does. I would suggest sorting through your options with the help of a good therapist. Best of luck. As Bill Clinton used to say, "I feel your pain".

Thanks
 

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Yes I have had masochistic tendencies due to my REALLY horrible childhood (My father lined us up in the living room and was going kill us all and commit suicide, in the way you see on the news sometimes fathers do, and that's just the tip of the iceberg).

I stayed with her because I didn't believe I deserved any better. Now I'm too old to start anew family and another life so I stay with her, but I have begun to ask myself why do I continue to stay?

Anyway, thank you. I've been to counseling but they usually gloss over this stuff and want to talk about the here and now. So it was helpful to hear from another perspective.

Sounds like you are in a twisted sense of the way. She should only be doing this with your approval.

I am not cuckhold though the wife does like to fuck a black man several times a month. She does it with my permission and always lets me know when it happens. If she is going out she does not have to tell me I can tell when she is going to go get fucked.

Some more thoughts
 

You seem like a good person with some very serious problems. Please find a good therapist! You'll have to keep looking until you find a professional who can help you to dig deeper into the issues that are causing you so much pain. The good news is that there are lots of people (psychologists, psychiatrists, clinical social workers and master's-level counselors) who do this type of work, so your chances of finding the right therapist are excellent. I'm just a random, anonymous guy from a discussion group on a porn website! You need a professional.

Women like this will reinforce your low self-esteem because it allows them to control you. Don't fall into that trap. You will have to make your own decision about whether or not to get divorced, but just remember that 50 is not too old to start over. There are tons of loyal, sincere older women out there who would give anything to find a good partner. They don't look like Kate Hudson, but who cares? A year from now, you could wake up with a lovely woman and wonder why you put up with your wife for so long!

no you're just in a horrible relationship. I'm sorry but its the truth. Cuckolding is consensual first of all and rarely (if ever) does it drive a wedge between the two in the relationship. You're wife is sleeping in the guest room and has been for quite some time from what i understand....that's a very bad sign. It needs to be addressed, and not here but with a professional. Good Luck

marco and mary
 

i am a cuckold guy marco greetingd;)

Somewhat similar situation
 

My wife is not the bitch yours is but like your wife I know she is having sex with other men of which 3 that I know of were black but she won't admit it. She knows I don't mind and would like to watch her take a big black cock or at least hear the details. I know I am not well endowed and she deserves a bigger and harder one. She talks about taking a big black one when we are having sex and turns us both on tremendously but denies she has actually did it. I have been told by our son-in-law that she fucked at least 2 black guys when she was visiting him and her daughter without me when I had to work and know of at least another one in our bed when I was working nights. Maybe I could get an answer from the ladies out there, why won't she admit it?

Um
 

If she loved it she wasn't raped.