Interracial Forums » Interracial Forum » General Interracial Discussion

[fundownsouth69]

My wife and I are in somewhat of an open relationship. Well I guess it could be called a soft open relationship. We enjoy playing around but never have intercourse. I have had a more serious relationship, and lately my wife has become interested in the same. Here is the deal. She is interested in finding a black male an hour or so from our home that she can just go spend the weekend with. She wants a friend with benefits who she can hang out with and get away for a few days a month. I am fine with whatever she wants, it's just how we are. However, she is shy about pursuing it because of the no intercourse rule. She loves playing, giving and receiving oral, but just no intercourse. At least at this time. She is afraid this would be a deal breaker. What are your true thoughts. Is this an odd request or something she could have luck with. Just looking for advise before testing the water. Thanks

[Helpgetherthere]

I'm pretty sure you could find a man who'll say he's fine with just oral and making out. But eventually when things get heated, he's going to want to fuck and it'll probably happen if he gets her hot enough!!

[ancientone]

Once I gave my wife permission to have all the extra-marital sex that she wanted, when the "all" became the norm, there would be no "deal breaker." My wife found, in our marriage (open marriage) that she not only had a husband but a friend too. She could trust me to keep her safe. She had security and trust within our marital relationship. She never could trust how another female friend would take her open marriage. She was horrified that someone she knew would find out. She was a Jesus Freak. Now 35 years later she still loves to be taken and loves to share with me the accountings of her sexual encounters. Leaving Christianity behind, she has known more than a few men. I guess the key here is for your wife to realize that having intercourse is not a tie breaker. Communication is essential. Let her know that it is ok as long as she comes back to you. She needs to feel secure and safe with your arrangement.

[Mustang Alley]

for a real conversation!!! Breath of fresh air around here!!! Thanks y'all.

~~~

Question? The no intercourse rule is that her personal rule or a mutual rule?


@ ancientone~ you're so right about feeling safe and secure.

[Phxview]

Once she gets a bbc there may be no turning back. She may want it all the time.

[newblkman22]

I think if you two lookhard enough, you can and will find a guy who can respect her wishes.

[fundownsouth69]

Thanks for the replies! The no intercourse rule is ours. Well I guess she came up with it originally, but I totally live by it in my relationships, as does she! No, it's not easy at times, but I do understand it. She says she just really wants that to be ours. However, as she said. If she finds a true friend that she enjoys spending time with and trusts, then we may have decisions to make. She can't see that right now because she has never been close enough to another to want that. Her times have just been fun, quick hookups. I have told her to feel free to look and find what she wants. The right person is surely out there, it may just take time finding them, but that's half the fun!😜

[newblkman22]

Originally Posted by fundownsouth69

Thanks for the replies! The no intercourse rule is ours. Well I guess she came up with it originally, but I totally live by it in my relationships, as does she! No, it's not easy at times, but I do understand it. She says she just really wants that to be ours. However, as she said. If she finds a true friend that she enjoys spending time with and trusts, then we may have decisions to make. She can't see that right now because she has never been close enough to another to want that. Her times have just been fun, quick hookups. I have told her to feel free to look and find what she wants. The right person is surely out there, it may just take time finding them, but that's half the fun!😜

Just take your time and you two will find the right guy,just be open and honest in what you two want and see where it goes from thereand like I said, you will find a guy who will respect both of your wishes and hopefully be the right guy for y'all.

[Red Advent 04]

if just a blow job even two or more but has no sexual intercourse would be a great recommendation. for your own safety and prevention of deceases such as HIV-AIDS. but if situation needed and if horny got her much, just prepare the battle and of course don't forget the dotted condoms.

[florida hubby]

I enjoy oral, giving and receiving, as much or more as anybody but weekends with a FWB and no intercourse would be impossible for me or just about anyone else for that matter. Good luck with this one....Becky