Black Guys Dating: white girls vs. black girls
 

It's funny to me, maybe ironic is a better word, that black women these days prefer a black man who is light skinned and most white girls including yours truly prefer black men who are very dark.

Most of my black boyfriends over the years have complained to me about their black wives or girlfriends about being too hard on them, too demanding, too high of expectations but not willing to support them in their goals and aspirations. I don't think that black women are bad for black men in general, but I do think that black women should be more supportive and understanding of their black men if they really want them to do well in life.

One thing I have learned from my mother is that men, no matter how smart they are, need the support and confidence of their wives in order to take the risks necessary for true success. Lots of men are smart and have the potential for success but young men especially lack the confidence to always pursue every dream and every angle. It is a loving and supportive women who many times encourages her man to stand up and be strong and can make the difference between a mediocre career and a successful career or entrepreneurial endeavor for their men.

If my mother had not shown complete confidence in my father's ability to make good choices for our family, they would not have moved from Italy to the US for his career and I would likely not be speaking English nearly as well as I do now nor would I have a faint southern draw mixed in with my obvious Italian accent.

Black men in particular already start off their lives behind others because of what slavery, then socialized bigotry, then the welfare state each did to destroy the African American family unit. When a black man succeeds in America, it means so much more than when a white man does. Black men must be smarter and bolder to achieve the same level of success as a white guy because he works twice as hard for the same level of achievement.

The biggest difference I see in white girls vs. black girls is that white girls have no interest in telling their black boyfriends what to do or how to do it. White girls just enjoy their company and are more about the relationship and not the guys career. Black girls seem to be more controlling and more demanding of their men. I think that they want their men to do well but they put too much pressure on them which can sometimes make them withdraw out of fear of failure.

Let us honor our black men and show them that we have their backs. White and Black women both should try harder to support their hard working and intelligent black men and support their decisions and their initiatives and entrepreneurial endeavors whether we agree with their professional choices or not. If black or white women want successful black husbands and fathers, turn them loose, support them and let them soar.

Just my opinion

@whtgrlangel
 

You get my vote as Secretary of State !
Just get a "Pant Suit " & hit the Campaign trail .
I'll get "Behind" you.. Literally !! ;)
Well somebody's got to be the "Driving" force in the "Campaign " so I'll steer you from the "Rear" !! ;)

Blackmen have tried for years to make the blackwomen more submissive but we simply dont have the Money to do it. The whiteman has the Money and has successfully turned his whitewoman slutty/submissive the way he wants and she wont mind losing her own self respect over it. From the Days of slavery we have been cut off from that true social link we have had with blackwomen and it still carries on to this day. Its like 2 people in 2 different countries doing business but there is a middleman involved and so you cant do business directly because someone else is controlling it. We have lost that Connection with blackwomen but i can tell you one thing is that a blackwoman is far more understanding to me than a whitewoman because she knows exactly where im coming from.

Wow!!!
 

True Understanding?
 

Of course, who could understand something as deeply as another person who shares your experience? That is an obvious statement but also misleading. Black women do understand where black people come from because they are black but they don't necessarily understand where black men are coming from because they are not men. Their experience, no matter how black, is not your experience. And, to some extent, they compare what black men are doing with what white men are doing and their expectations are artificially set to judge you by those arbitrary standards.

I don't necessarily agree that white men have subjugated us white girls to sex slaves because of money because white women in this country are far out-performing white men in this day and age and we are far better educated so I believe we will turn a corner in a few decades when white men will no longer dominate this country. Not only that, you seem to think that we give up the pussy so easily because men have money not realizing that I might actually be using men for my own sexual pleasure. If you think that women don't understand the power of their pussy then you are sorely misinformed.

The jist of my rant was that women, black and white, who love black men should do their best to lift their men up and encourage them without the fear or doubt that generations of bigotry has spawned. The confidence of black culture has been undermined by white culture and it is a significant reason why black women are so hard on black men. Black women don't understand how hard it is to be a black man. They just see other men and set their expectations on what other men are doing.

I am not dogging black women at all. I love black women like I love black men. I love the culture. But I am not black. I don't know what it is to be black but I can observe and learn and share what I see for the benefit of black people. I am not just a waste can for black cum, I do have a mind and love for all black people. I just see more and more that black men are marrying white girls and dating white girls and leaving black girls behind. I love that black men are attracted to me because I am attracted to them too but don't you think that there is a growing epidemic of black men who are forgetting about black girls?

I am only reiterating what I hear from dozens and dozens of black men who have told me this stuff for decades. I just want to encourage black women out there to lift up their men and I want black men out there to go home and help your women understand what it is to be you. You have no idea what you can accomplish if you don't allow yourself to both dream big and execute. Don't stick your toe in the water, go get whatever it is you want and bring it home. That's all I am saying.

Kal.....
 

Exactly
 

That's exactly my point only it seemed to have sounded more realistic coming from the mouth of a black man and not a white woman. As I first said, my papa would have not been the man/professional that he became were it not for the support of my mother. None of us as a whole can be categorized as one thing. But relationships have degraded over time and expectations are out of reach for many guys. Thank you for explaining what were simple thoughts of mine from the perspective of a black person who is living the experience. Nothing I wrote was intended to degrade black women at all, only to point out something that we all see but don't have the courage to discuss and this work toward an answer.

Sistas verus Snow Bunnies
 

As someone who has dated LOTS of white women, I just have to say that some of those women have been some of the most insecure, mentally unstable, immature, mean-spirited, passive-aggressive, needy, selfish, clingy individuals I have ever met in my entire life . . . male OR female of any race! Did I say flakey and shallow? Flakey and shallow too!

What you're saying, yes I understand where you're coming from. But the second part of what you wrote that I quoted holds more power for me at the end of the day. That being put on a pedestal places a LOT of pressure on white women to be worthy of being placed on that high perch. Feel they gotta be perfect all the time to get up there and stay up there. Many don't know how to handle the constant pressure of always striving to be "perfect white girl" with any dignity and grace.

I always say what's between their legs makes them a woman. But it's one's BEHAVIOR that makes one a lady! I've told plenty of white chicks to shape up or ship the fuck out . . . some have been shocked that this BROWN-SKINNED black man would dump them . . . THEM (PRETTY white girls) . . . before putting up with their shit. Maybe a white man or a SIMP ass nicca might kiss her ass to be with her, but me??? Geeeeeets ta steppiiiiiinnnnnn' LOL :D Gets ta steppin' right out of my life!

I guess I need to reassess where I been meeting my white girls :( Either that or just stick to the Latinas. They're a hella lot nicer . . . make a black man forget aaaallll about a white woman :p Bottom line black men . . . don't think your life is gonna be all good just because you're with a white woman. She can make your life miserable too. Fuck yo shit up. Then turn around and call the law on ya too! Tryin' to play the victim and shit :mad:

It doesn't really matter
 

I've dated a lot of different races and they have all been strong women. I've seen submissive black and white women and it's annoying to be with someone who seems to just say yes or blindly follow you with out giving any input or ideas. It doesn't matter about the color of your skin or their bank account. Being submissive is an innate trait to a person. In relationship I LOVE being with a strong woman rather than someone who would just let me do whatever and just "go along for the ride".

You have a strong Point about blackwomen not feeling part of the feminist movement, i live in sweden and a feminist party has been very well established. Feminism is absolutley flourishing here in which Swedish men dont feel like a man anymore and feels he been turned into a wussy but whitewomen here are very much off limits to foreign men and they have Power, i sometimes ask myself if many whitewomen have to feel some kind of oppression from whitemen to feel attracted to blackmen because blackmen give whitewomen attention no matter how they look and whitewomen know its guaranteed. whitewomen here in sweden have lot of Power but are afraid to date foreign men and now Swedish men are looking to asian women instead of there own so although feminism is flourishing it really actually is not flourishing, its like its wired in there Brains to Think it is.

You are so true about the blackwoman are frustrated in a way at not really having options like the blackman has and in a sense has taken her frustration out on him and looks to the whiteman like he superman.

yes i have upmost respect for those kind of women

Woman Strong?
 

I guess it all depends on how she manifests the "strong". I mean, I like a woman who understands that she can be both strong and a lady at the same time. She understands that being strong isn't about a battle of wills all the time. She's not the type who thinks it's a challenge to try to out fuck the man LOL! She stands proudly with her head held high as she waits for her man to open the door for her.

I dated this red headed white chick once, and she was telling me about how she had a flat tire one time. It was before we met. Anyway, this guy stopped to help her change the tire, and she told him she didn't need any help. Then she said she got offended when he kind of stood there for a minute to watch her and see how she was gonna do. I mean really? Come on. She was offended by that :rolleyes:? I wish somebody had stopped to help me the last time I had to change a tire. Got all dirty in my nice business suit and hurt my back and shit :(

Anyway, I ended up dumping her ass after seeing her for a little while. You see, in her never ending desire to show her strength and independence as a woman . . . she forgot to remember that to attract most men (especially "strong" men) . . . you need to be . . . a lady. She would be over at my place, and then when she would get ready to leave, I would ask her to call me when she got home so I would know that she arrived safe and sound. And her reply? "I'm a big girl. I think I can get home safe all right," (while rolling eyes).

No shit!? Of course she was a "big girl", but she was totally missing the point! When a guy asks something of that from a girl, he's telling her that he CARES something about her . . . that he LIKES her . . . and wants HER to KNOW that he wants her to be free of any harm. But in her quest to be "strong and independent", she was blind to understanding and picking up on this kind of "man talk". Maybe that's why the guy before me dumped her too . . . and announced he was gonna get engaged to be married to somebody else! Said she was devastated. Obviously didn't learn shit.

A lot of women think they understand men. But, they don't understand jack shit about men. Not at all. I got tired of her "feminism". That's the way she described herself by the way when we had falling out and I stopped calling her. She "admitted" to being a "feminist". Well, I suppose strength and feminism come in tandem. But, you don't have to be a feminist in order to possess personal strength as a woman. I don't mind a strong woman. Just as long as she remembers to . . . be a lady too . . . which means knowing how to interact with, attract, and KEEP the opposite sex in her life.

As a Black man that has dated a few White women over the years I have found them to just be easier to get along with. White women were with me through thick and thin, Black women just through the thick. I never had a WW that I considered a pushover.And they are more open minded sexually. Black women always say they are independent,but once they have sex with you then they start beggin,bitchin, and complaining. The only thing they bring to the table is a big mouth and a bunch of kids. I'm not looking to marry again,but if I do it sure as hell won't be to a Black woman. I want to live the rest of my days in relative peace!
BTW... Luv ya Mustang!!!

Totally agree with you there pal, I love a strong and independent woman who will speak her mind, knows what she wants, etc. Give me advice give me input and tell me what I need to hear instead of what I wanna hear.

International Players
 

A man after my own heart. Miss Alley knows I play on an international stage. And yeah, I'm glad that dude ain't me either. The whole notion of "pussy scarcity" is bullshit.

Package Deal?
 

That reminds me of when I used to date women who have kids (I absolutely don't anymore). Anyway, I was seeing this one with kids (white), and she was like, "We're a package deal!" And I was like (in my head), well I see the package, but where the hell is the "deal"??? LOL! She was pretty (looked like Big Booty Barbie), but just like the black women you describe, she wasn't bringing anything else to the table but a big mouth and kids. White women can be like that too.

Wow!
 

I sure did get you guys stirred up didn't I? Well, even if I offended some of you, at least I brought up something that was important to each of you or else you wouldn't have responded as you did.

I certainly do not claim to be an expert on "black" but I do understand that there is a active dialogue on the subject of black men dating white more and more often that should be openly discussed and understood.

You gentlemen have brought up a lot of detail that couldn't have possibly come from a stupid girl like me. As hard as it is to swallow, I did see bits of myself in some of those derogatory descriptions of white women so now I have a better baseline and I will strive to be a much better HO...LOL

Seriously, thank you all for participating in an open and relevant discovery of contemporary black culture and thank you for at least validating that I am not completely crazy. I only opened the dialogue because I care.

Please Understand
 

I wasn't simply trying to be derogatory towards white women. My central point was that all of those negative behaviors attributed to black women? Well, plenty of white women do them too. I know that from "hands-on" experience. That's all I was really trying to get at when you break it all down. Hell, I know some white women who got weaves and hair pieces/extensions too . . . girl you know that ain't yo hair! Hahahaha :D!!!

My perspective
 

It's interesting to note that when people note strength in a woman, the connotation is that she be domineering, controlling, dictatorial, materialistic, impatient, and just generally bitchy....? And on the flip side submissive is generally thought to mean meek, quiet, takes orders, is a push over, etc. Both extremes are misapplications of definitions applied to women (and men) according to societal gender identity bullshit.... Believe me, that when men (and women) refer to other men as "strong", bitchy is NOT a part of the equation.

With that being said, I date/fuck women from all races. I don't particularly care for women who are difficult irregardless of color. Yes I find that black women tend to be much more challenging than any other group. It's not all black women mind you. Just the beauty queens, and the wanna be beauty queens. They want this, they want that, they want, want, want.... What does one get in return? A fucked up attitude, a dirty house, and empty pots at dinner time. It's a catch 22 for me as I am only attracted to black American princesses and not the plain Jane types. Knowing this about myself I generally steer clear of black women when it comes to relationships. It's like pouring gasoline on a volcano...

I try to focus on the person... doesn't matter to me what gender they are,, where they are from and all that. It's the person that matters to me and what they are all about and how we connect. And you are sooo right... a person will be treated in the manner that they act so if you want to be with someone then I make sure to act in a way that makes them want me too. anyway.. just sayin. :)

Really
 

Clarification
 

A lady in the STREET . . . but a FREAK in the . . . TRUCK BED! Hahahaha :D! By the way, I don't change tires anymore. I call AAA :) LOL!

Haha. Truck bed.
 

I have been with both , I prefer black women but am going to marry a white woman who I love. If you need a big white cock hit me up. I have been banned by some weak pussy so rockman170 at live dot com lets fuck

hello whtgrlangel, it's nice to see some women still stand by their man, it's not black vs white here are some facts that i see as a black man i went to mostly white college i was on the swim team not basketball or football was not tall enough for that .the black women that we had on campus we're always angry thought their shit don't stink or thought they all we're african goddess . the black guys on campus none swim team seem to think they were gods which was funny most couldn,t spell thier names and acted like ass clowns, pants sagging, no good grammar .these was the ones black and white women would entertain all the time because they thought they were all going to the nfl or nba . when it came to graduate those guys was not stage it went like this white men 91%, white women 93% ,asians men 92%, asians women96% , black women 89% black men none swim team 16% black men swim team 100% why because there was only 5 of us out 55 white team mates. i got degree in poly-sci with minor in russian i live in russa for 5 years speank russian, english and spanish and the reason i am successful i a came from a two parent household .black and white women have the same problem they"re picking the same types of guys ,uneducated , in and out jail , can,t spell, always blaming the white man , slavery , and out of wedlock births.first when you got a good man don,t dress him up as a fool, second when you got a fool don,t dress him up as a man. the second one is and always will be the problem.

newhongbg01

There are at least two major problems in terms of discussing differences between white women and black women. The first is that you can't use a descriptive word or phrase that could also not be applied to any woman or women in the groups being compared. The second is that we're talking about personal subjective preferences, not objective standards. If you're a black man and you prefer to be intimate with non-black women that does not mean there is anything objectively wrong with black women no matter how many bad relationships you have had with black women. We can't really claim there is something essential about white women not possessed by other women. We can, however, talk about what we find sexually exciting and erotic. If, for example, a marked contrast in skin color between you and your sexual partner is what floats your boat then it is what it is. That's my two cents. Peace.

Right On!
 

That's right, and if we as black men do make that claim, then we are guilty of doing with the white woman the exact same thing that many accuse black women of doing with the white man . . . putting them on a pedestal as "the standard" to be attained by all other women.

You're so full of shit and hate I can smell it from here. You live to berate all other white girls on here like you're the only person whose ever experienced real life. If anyone reads what I've written they will not find what you've alleged that I wrote. Nowhere! Of course, haters and crazy bitches can find anything if their looking for it, including half price Jimmy Choo's. I love how you love to intimate that you're the only real person on this site which in and of itself is a telling and interesting perspective. Honestly, I could give a fuck less what you're opinion of my opinion is and mine certainly is not racist nor anti-BF in any way. Maybe if you learned to fucking read English instead of emoticons you wouldn't be so damn negative and pathetic. Damn girl, get some real dick, not just this electric kind, before you blow an implant or worse. There are plenty of guys on here that know I'm real so I don't need you to moderate my opinions nor vouch for me. Get a life!