Quote:
Originally Posted by Durfer
Well I've been working on this for quite awhile now & i can say that I'm having to work through some things with her.
First is the notion that sex is dirty & not to be talked about. She was taught this growing up, & I see now how deep rooted childhood lessons can effect people.
Second, she tells me "size dosent matter to me". (I know she is saying this because she does not want to hurt me) We have been using a 10" dildo about once a month for about a year. At first her attitude was, "I'm doing this only because YOU like it" but in time, she has gotten to the point where she has really violent orgasms when we play like this & now she LOVES doing it. I recognize that she is TELLING me one thing, ("Size Dont matter") not wanting to hurt me, but her body is telling a completly different story.(Wanting a bigger cock) She absolutely loves getting it deep & hard and begs for it deeper while I lick her pussy. I know her well enough to know that once I get her here, she will love being fucked hard by a big black cock & its my hope to someday have her a regular "Friend" she can count on to fuck her in a way I cant. The key for her is going to be making it HER idea.  To answer your question hep, no, no habit of "Zoning out" Sorry about rambling, just thought I'd give a little background info. |
Durfer yes working through this kind of thing is hard going - my wife had religious based issues around this kind of thing that you've experienced.
Consider subverting that energy of shame and channeling it through LW with the use of acknowledging her past by whispering to her that she knows and accepts the faults of her imposed past and the unhealthy shame she was made to feel then and as she loves you accepts the need in her the deep down needing to be a naturally submissive slut. Now accepting she can be a naturally submissive slut.
(being made to feel she can be the submissive slut allows her to giving permission to herself to being 'taken' - to accept she is not in control and therefore can accept what happens is outside of the needing of that pasts attempt at control through shame - so in a sense is not her responsibility) This is part of a much larger desensitization program where you deepen desire, bring out fantasy play and using dildo on her. All that time edging her inevitably towards the goal - BUT it might take you longer than others.
I'd serious;y consider that using LW you may need to free up her past by working on this sense of shame she has.
I'd like you to notice that shame is different from guilt - shame is a outside psychological force imposed by others onto a person and that guilt is a sense of knowing when we've done something wrong from within a result of our 'moral' compass.
On one level size probably doesn't matter that much BUT when seen in the light of the imposition of shame on her suggests this is more to do with that same early teaching of sex is dirty so that we can infer that the larger the cock is the more dirty it will be, the more pleasure it could give the more dirty it will be - seen in the context of the warped teaching of sex is dirty we can see how this again holds a certain idiotic ideological hold. Thats not to mean your wife is anything other than intelligent BUT shes just had a heap of shit to deal with from her past!
The fact that she gets off on that is a GOOD SIGN and shows her rebellion against that old BS by quietly reworking it into sexplay!
I was interested in knowing about whether she had day dreams because of what you said earlier makes me think she may have particularly strong susceptibility to LW and 'proper' hypnosis.
I'll happily chat by pm or email much more if wishing to offer further insight.
Hephaestus, Tony.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacko1
Hep,
What other chat rooms would you reccomend that have similar discussions? I enjoy this forum and others but welcome learning and listening to interracial BBC discussions. Its helpful as I work on this aspect of the training.
Thanks
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Jacko sent you a pm reply respecting this forum as it seems good and wouldn't want to plug any links for other places on the thread.