Bingo, you hit the nail on the head. The whole excitement factor starts in the mind for women.
I can never stress this enough to dudes. Get a woman in the right frame of mind and her body will do amazing things.
Even if a guy has a big dick, if he just sticks it in and starts fucking and climaxes and the woman is left unfulfilled, that would not be good sex for her in any shape, way or form. That is selfish sex for him.
A woman has to be mentally stimulated, build up her excitement, slow sensual kisses to her neck and body at first, work over that clit with your tongue to increase her passion, only when she is very worked up and craving more, do you move in with the dick.
Personally I despise bad sex, it should be illegal,
As a man I ALWAYS want to make sure a woman gets off, I derive my greatest pleasure and fulfillment from seeing her body shake from orgasm.
But for me it always starts with getting her in an excellent frame of mind and letting go of all her inhibitions.
There are so many ways a woman can climax, Clitoris, G-spot, A-spot orgasms.
Some guys just need to learn about the female body and how the parts work and they can do amazing things to her.