It's a Community
Some are on these sorts of sites to genuinely meet people to pursue further real meetings. Some just want to be part of the larger community. It would be unrealistic to think you'll be meeting people in real time who are thousands of miles away. But the lifestyle is about getting together on some level with others with the same socially relaxed outlook. For us, locals are potential for go beyond that. But that is potential. Meeting soemtime at a public lifestyle event or whatever is comfortable for all involved can assess such chemistry, Sending a message about getting together to screw is not too forward to some perhaps, but to many it is presumptuous and maybe even desperate, neither being attractive. There are those in fantasyland, others still figuring out what they want (though genuine), others playing games and wasting time, and others just being either particular in their selections of playmates or just uncomfortable in progressing on that in cyberspace (a generational thing usually). But the two mosst commonly suspected are the ganme players and the sorts who want it but are like dogs chasing the ice cream truck with no idea what to do when it does stop in the street. People are just complicated and we see a weird sliver of a facade for each (including all of ourselves) on these sites. Hooking up might not be everyone's agenda, at least not for all of the folks they befriend.
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