Interesting debate. I recently read an article that debated a similar topic and it was the author's contention that why there is such opinionated responses is that it's all part of being a distinct person. He looks at it as a spectrum from guys who have a strong distaste even looking at another man's equipment to those whose preference is totally other men, for love, sex and looking! You probably fall in there somewhere. A more common definition is that to be gay you must love and lust other men, strictly. Bi indicates you can love and lust either way and then there's "low down, " friends with benefits,: etc etc. Sure is a fun world out there!
Oh almost forgot: Eating another man's semen from your wife's vagina is just fine if that's what you and her want! Mine sure loves it!