People who are experienced in the lifestyle know that this is typically how it works. So, those guys out there who are complaining about it need to stop it. If you want to fuck another man's wife, then that man needs to be your collaborator and confidant in this, not your enemy/adversary. So, if you're feeling ANY animosity towards the role of the husbands at anytime, then this is not the sport for you. And, I advise you to get out of it ASAP.
Here's the reality. "FOR REAL" swinging is mostly a couples thing with singles thrown into the mix. That means that if you are a single man looking to hump the Mrs., then on some level you're going to have to deal with the man of the house. That's just the reality, so get used to it. Or, get out of swinging. Here's a few simple things to look for to make sure you're dealing with somebody who's legit, and not just some closet homosexual who's looking to suck you dick (or more likely just yank off to the thought of it).
Now, after you've had your first contact with the supposed "husband" (and definitely after the second), you need to be able to speak to the Mrs. directly if they're serious. If they're legit, you won't even have to ask. They'll offer that contact. But, if the wife is always out "shopping" or "went to see her sister " and can never get on the phone, then that's a HUGE red flag. That's because most likely THERE IS NO WIFE! Or if there is, she's not interested and/or can't commit to going through with it. They may even be fighting about it (DO NOT get involved . . . drop them IMMEDIATELY!). And what's more likely than that, SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING AT ALL. This alleged "husband" is just wasting your time. So tell him to fuck off
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Other red flags are when "hubby" asks "what would you do to my wife" or keeps asking to SEE your package. Now, you shouldn't get pissed off if the guy makes a general inquiry about your size. After all, the main fantasy of the couple might be to see her taking a HUGE Dinka warrior dong
LOL! So, since the husband is making the initial contact, it's legit for him to ask about this . . . ONCE. And on a related note, TELL THE TRUTH THE FIRST TIME! You don't want your time wasted. So, don't waste theirs by LYING about the size of your dingus
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Now every once in a while, you'll get surprised when it's the female half of the couple that initiates the first "real world" contact. I mean, she'll call you right up or give you her number and have you call her. Cool! I've had that happen several times, and those experiences have shown me that these folks tend to be the most "for real" couples (wife/girlfriend makes the first "live" contact or is in on the first call). Of course, these days I guess you can throw being willing to get on cam into the mix, but still for me the true tell-tale sign I want to see is a willingness to get on the phone. There's something about being willing to give up that phone number that crosses a certain barrier thresh hold for me.
In any event, when the wife of girlfriend makes the first significant contact with you, my vast experience says she tends to be part of a couple that is comfortable with their relationship, they know what they want, and they have swinging experience. This is what you want if you're lucky enough to get it. No wasting time because she's ready to fuck! But remember, it doesn't all end there! When you meet face-to-face, you still have work to do! I mean, do you like these people? Do they seem to like you? Can you communicate? Do you want the same things sexually? And, it's not just about you and the wife! What's the husband's role going to be in it? Watch? Jack off? Join in? Video it? Take pictures? And are you down with that? Whatever it is?
How ever you decide, just remember that if you're swingin' and you want to fuck that white boy's wife, then you better remember that he's an integral part of the deal and will be involved not only with making the arrangements, but even with what goes on in the bedroom. Accept that, and you'll help yourself achieve better outcomes. And, depending on how your relationship develops with the couple, over time you might find yourself dealing more one-on-one with the Mrs. . . . but . . . if she's got a significant other then that white boy is going to ALWAYS be somewhere in the background. You single men wanting to fuck attached white women must accept this reality and learn to leverage it for a more successful, happier swinging lifestyle!
Note: I shouldn't write as if the husband will always be white. Usually he will be if you're fuckin' white women, but one time I did run into this one couple where the black hubby liked to see other bruthas dick down his blonde white wife . . . come to think of it . . . she liked gettin' dicked down by strange black men too LOLOLOL!!!!