For what it's worth....
...I'd like to share my perspective.
I've been in the lifestyle for almost 14 years. For about 7 of those, my relationship has been open with my wife and I. Here's the deal we have. She's not worried about me that she wants to act as a filter for people I play with. However when it comes to people she plays with, we both participate in choosing the people she wants to play with though she really leads the process and I just provide input. Once he's in, I may watch them go at it. Most of the time she does what she wants. Currently she has a "boyfriend" who we're both comfortable with so they do their own thing.
Now my experience when it comes to couples, 95% of the time, the husband acts as a filter or participates. I fully expect that as it's a couples activity most of the time as they both get turned on by doing something like this. If the husband is present (and even if he's not), it's like porn for him. It's rare that a woman reaches out to me without the husband being present or involved. If hubby wants to spend his time chatting with me about my experiences or what I would do to his wife (or "wife") then I'm out. If I can't talk to her after trading more than three or four e-mails, I'm done.
Hope that helps.
|