For the two of us, it's been an ongoing discussion and journey of discovery. My parents were swingers. When you're a kid you figure these things out. I don't equate love and sex, never have.
For many women, it's just that they desire a stronger emotional connection and have a hard time with the thought of just having a steady "side dick" when they're IN a relationship. As I always say to her, it means that you have good qualities, but those aren't qualities that make you and I perfectly compatible.
When we met, I was so interested in her because she was a fucking sex machine. We had a couple of threesomes, but at some point she started to focus more on the "relationship" part of our relationship and less on the screwing part. That's where we went off the rails.
Over the past year we've had many open and honest discussions. She is curious about women, she is curious about black dick, but like so many women she feels like those are things that make you a bad person for some silly reason. I explained patiently that to me, I want to be with someone who is a slut. I'm a slut. I would prefer to be married or in a LTR with a woman who says "honey, I totally fucked that guy from the office in a janitor's closet today at lunch time, just thought you should know." Because I won't be upset.
She struggles with her desire to explore her submissiveness and her love of sexual experimentation - and admits that she put a lot of it in a box and locked it away because it wasn't mainstream. Finally one day I just sat down and told her what I want, need, and hope for in a woman. Period. No compromise will come from me on those points. Ever. She took her time, thought it all over, we talked and talked often and really communicated like we never have. And she admitted that she wants to try these things - and so we're slowly moving that way. She's only had one encounter with a black guy, but i'm hoping for more in the future obviously.
Patience, honesty, caring, and more honesty will eventually get you there guys. Women like to fuck just like guys. But society puts them in tough spots.
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