[whiteboi4bbcluvrs]

Perhaps you need to reassess what is going on with you right now?

I don't know your whole story... but once you cheat and once you do something that gives you such mixed emotions and thrills then guilt... your priming yourself to not think logically.
The endorphin rush will be intoxicating... then the down guilt feeling will make you feel horrible.
You may start looking for ways and reasons to make you NOT want to be with your partner so it is them driving you away (and maybe they are), or for them to be inadequate (and maybe they are). But that is usually a defense mechanism to remove guilt and to rationalize a life change.

If you really love and want to stay with your husband... then you need to stop cheating on him.
Telling him about it will do what? Clear your conscience? Meanwhile destroy his confidence in himself and in your marriage in an irrepairable way?

Really how many couples can swing, or have a cheating husband or wife and continue indefinitely. Probably not many.

Now if doing such things is something that adds some shared excitement and strengthens your committment to each other... then I guess it could work... it won't be something you'd share with your friends, his, or family... to save face for both of you... but then again who knows.... I don't know your situation.

Personally, I'm a single guy, I am very attracted to women, but also find black guys hot.
So I'm not in a relationship... maybe I'll meet a woman who just likes me and I'll just like her and never think of doing anything on the side and neither will she... maybe we would be so into sharing each other and our fantasies and past and so forgiving that we'd be ok with all that... and perhaps we'd experiment together. I have no idea. I'm pretty realistic and pragmatic. As far as I am concerned what a person does is usually private... but once your married you have a certain responsibility to another person (not to mention safety issues - like STDs, pregnancy issues, and just not embarassing them in some irreparable manner).

I think even if you continue in secret... you run a risk of being discovered and doing great damage. Even if not discovered you risk your own health and your husbands and that is not cool - I don't care if you use condoms or whatever your still at some level of risk that is unfair to your husband without his knowledge just as it would be unfair to you without your knowledge. Some STDs do not matter much and are treatable, but HIV/AIDS and even Hepatitis can be quite life changing.

My adivce... if you can't figure it out and be open (and it is probably too late for that after a person has strayed) because there is true face-saving that is needed and that will victimize both of you and be hard to repair. I think it would be better for you to just separate for a while until you can figure yourself out.

Perhaps during that time period you can date whomever and whatever type of guys you like and then go back to your husband. If he wants you back. You can share with him what you have done "during your separation" and see if it is ok with him on that level. But at least that gives you both openness and both equal power in the situation with mutual respect. If this is your life long partner and sweet heart... you'd want them to do that for you right?

If during a separation or you ever found out he strayed while you were together and sucked a bunch of big black cock or something... then I guess you'd be on equal terms and would like the same things... finding such things out and giving equal "permission" will be very difficult.

I wish you good luck and happiness for both of you.
~s~