[ancientone]

Which partner was not not made clear in your question. I suspect that you are addressing the female partner.

I am the husband. The wife really does not have the time to give this site much attention. When I show her blogs, she might give that web page her time and we might talk about the differing opinions. As for who is taking charge, I suspect that you are referring to who sets up the scene. What I do for the wife is to find some guy, whether on this site or another site, trying to set up a time that they can cam. Either the guy or the wife can then say that they are interested in a face to face meeting or excuse themselves. Choosing to meet then is not what I have anything to do with. The wife would prefer to meet some guy while in another city. She is to well known to play where we live. I do not take charge. I don't pretend to be able to decide for the wife what she is to experience.