Your fantasy is not that of a pervert if it was 90% of the white male population would be in some form of trauma, and that includes your close professional friends believe me. So get over the guilt part of your fantasy and enjoy it, relax, chill out as they say. I am very much older than you in my 70's but in my earlier years after being married to a very coveted female, overhearing numerous guys say 'they would like to fuck the arse off her' , this always gave me what i thought then was a perverted thrill, but which I soon realised was absolutely normal response. What got me over this so called perversion was when my wife, while we were on holiday, was seduced by the camp owner, from there our sex life never looked back, We joined a wife swapping club and got on the circuit, and for the next 20 years or so she was very happy, and so was I. But I like you had a fantasy to see her being mounted by a black man but this didn't occur until she was 56 years old, but it is never to late to realise a fantasy of black on white, and she too was very very happy that fate had allowed her to taste the other fruit. You are not a pervert you are a normal male, perhaps a bit voyeuristic but that too is normal. Forgive yourself.
Paul.
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