It's all about what you both desire. If you're like me,(the guy) you enjoy witnessing your woman's orgasm. It makes it more exciting to see her cum by the actions of others. I think there is the psycological excitement of realizing that she is sensual as a woman and not just with her spouse. I think it adds support to my male libido that she orgasms to or with me because she wants to orgasm, rather than because she feels she has to out of duty. (she fucks me because she wants to cum) It's exciting to know your woman cums because she wants to cum, and has chosen you as her partner in life.
maybe too cerebral, but that's my take. It turns me on greatly to watch my wife use her toys or fingers on herself.....fucking and sucking strange guys cock is the ultimate fantasy.
Workin on getting her there...she's getting curious.
Good luck
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