Interracial Forums » Interracial Forum » General Interracial Discussion

[Man in NJ]

New here. I joined hoping that maybe there are others like me who can understand what I'm going through. Tried talking to people in various chat rooms but only found people wanting cyber sex.

I'm a married man with daughters. Admittedly I haven't been the most open minded when it comes to other races, especially blacks. While not openly racist I've always harbored feelings of hostilities towards blacks. I'm not proud of this and I'm working on it. A while back when picking up my teenage daughter from her job I found her talking with a black guy. It was obvious that she was flirting with him. So I freaked out. I ordered her in the car and told her that I forbade her from being with him or any other blacks. She of course was angry with me and called me a racist and all. But I told her that I'm her father and as long as she lives under my roof she has to live by my rules. I thought this would be the end of this but unfortunately I was wrong.

The next day I had a little free time and as I sometimes do I decided to masturbate. I was going to imagine myself with this hot young barista that started working at Starbucks recently. I've thought about her before while jerking off and never failed to cum hard. But I was a bit distracted because of what happened the night before. My wife didn't exactly take my side and my daughter stopped talking to me. So at some point while jerking off my thoughts turned to my daughter and this black guy. I should have been disgusted but for some reason I was harder than I've ever been before and I came harder than ever. I was so ashamed afterwards but as time went on I started thinking about it more and more while jerking off.

Soon, I stopped being able to get an erection with my wife unless I imagined I was a black thug and she was getting black fucked. I don't know what to do. I can't get hard anymore unless I think about the women in my life getting fucked by black guys. Has this happened to anyone else on this site? Can I get past this? Any advice would be appreciated because I feel like a monster.