figuring out her intensions

Brcr1234 · #1 (**permalink**) 08-31-2021, 03:10 PM

Honestly the best route is direct discussion. To me it sounds like she enjoys the idea and she really enjoys how much it gets you going and the fantasy of it, but not so much ACTUALLY doing it. It's a huge step that shouldn't be taken without some thought and very direct conversation about whats ok and not ok, and what each other expects to get from it. Make her feel safe in the relationship that you are a team no matter what, and you won't change your mind about here if she does go through with it.

generic3 · #2 (**permalink**) 08-31-2021, 04:35 PM

Thank you for the reply. Appreciated

tracyjane47 · #3 (**permalink**) 08-31-2021, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brcr1234

Honestly the best route is direct discussion. To me it sounds like she enjoys the idea and she really enjoys how much it gets you going and the fantasy of it, but not so much ACTUALLY doing it. It's a huge step that shouldn't be taken without some thought and very direct conversation about whats ok and not ok, and what each other expects to get from it. Make her feel safe in the relationship that you are a team no matter what, and you won't change your mind about here if she does go through with it.

Exactly. Communication is key. Both of you need to be open and honest about what you want.

generic3 · #4 (**permalink**) 08-31-2021, 09:02 PM

How about seduction, like an email from a BULL , or link to IR porn , just to test waters and gauge her response when she is alone.

tracyjane47 · #5 (**permalink**) 09-01-2021, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by generic3

How about seduction, like an email from a BULL , or link to IR porn , just to test waters and gauge her response when she is alone.

Do you think she'd tell you if she got a suggestive email from a bull? Or an IR porn link?

generic3 · #6 (**permalink**) 09-01-2021, 03:36 AM

Only if it is coming from anonymous ..that I control. I don't think this is the correct way to deal with a partner however may be intriguing to test the water

tracyjane47 · #7 (**permalink**) 09-01-2021, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by generic3

Only if it is coming from anonymous ..that I control. I don't think this is the correct way to deal with a partner however may be intriguing to test the water

Okay. I agree that it's not a good way to go about finding her intention or desire but I understand your curiosity. The old "what if.." scenario.
It could that it's just the fantasy that excites her, along with the black dildo and she doesn't want to go to the next level. You might buy her a higher quality dildo, too.

generic3 · #8 (**permalink**) 09-01-2021, 12:24 AM

Yes direct discussion is a big step and not sure how to start it.

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