Interracial Forums » Interracial Forum » Couples and Women Looking

[Lovingsex2012]

Mustang I love your posts and respect you, but I cant agree. Its just too important to us to not take chances on the web. But I fully understand where you are coming from. The white and black men that are posers on the site get on my nerves extremely bad. We have met some very nice guys on here my wife has thoroughly enjoyed chatting and being with. Maybe a validation method without pics or cam? I dont know the answer.

[hoMichelle4bbc]

Originally Posted by Mustang Alley

Yea, I'm sure there could be a way for them to record you, does it really matter?

I think its a bit funny that y'all are willing to let a man into your bedroom but nervous to hop on cam because of trust issues. .

Hubby (slydog) comment:

Easily recorded, and streamed too. Yes, it matters, any corroborating breadcrumb in a trail has evidentiary value.

Trust ain't the issue, probative material evidence compromising discretion and leading to real life exposure is. As an example, one might trust another, but that trust does not extend to the other's spouse (or others you were unaware of) and her/their team of attorneys armed with the rules of Discovery, subpoenas, and/or court ordered eDiscovery, and etc. on a moral turpitude character assassination mission in a marital or custody case.

Any couple would certainly be more than uncomfortable in a 7 hour (allowed by rules) video deposition (with SDT - subpoena duces tecum ordering surrender of copies of all communications, emails, voice mails, etc., etc.) if they were inadvertently caught in the middle of another’s drama. In a deposition, counsel for the Plaintiff can ask you anything they want, your whole life history, and you have to answer or be held in contempt. It is worse than open court where the Judge is a referee and determines admissibility, etc. There is no referee in deposition and it is all public record. I’m certain nobody here would be comfortable on the stand in open court discussing activities related to participation in this site or another’s “moral turpitude” either.

Control risk, or risk control.

I/We will say no more in this thread.

[CaliBlk4U]

Wow... I understand the need to protect one's privacy and all of that, but I can't help but wonder about the people who take that to the extreme.

Sure, you're taking a chance by putting too much out there online... but look where you all are -- online. This isn't an in-person, meet-n-greet, where you can exchange ID's and STD test results in realtime. These digital checks (photos, etc) are pretty much all we have to go on initially.

The question I'm always thinking when I hear/read that people are unwilling to provide proof of who they are is; what else are they not saying? Even if they turn out to be "real", what else might they be holding back, presumably for the sake of their own privacy? Could those be things that I really should know before I commit to meeting strangers, in some strange place, in order to do (possibly) strange things?

You see, what some of you don't seem to get is that there actually needs to be at least the appearance of trust for all of this to actually end up with everybody hooking up... Hell, even an escort won't return your call if your number is blocked. Are you going to give the black men here at least that much consideration? Or should we just fly completely blind all of the time?

One last thought... If the idea of anyone finding out about your black cock fetish is so earth shatteringly, god awful scary for you, maybe it's just not the lifestyle for you.

[Mustang Alley]

Originally Posted by CaliBlk4U

Wow... I understand the need to protect one's privacy and all of that, but I can't help but wonder about the people who take that to the extreme.

Sure, you're taking a chance by putting too much out there online... but look where you all are -- online. This isn't an in-person, meet-n-greet, where you can exchange ID's and STD test results in realtime. These digital checks (photos, etc) are pretty much all we have to go on initially.

The question I'm always thinking when I hear/read that people are unwilling to provide proof of who they are is; what else are they not saying? Even if they turn out to be "real", what else might they be holding back, presumably for the sake of their own privacy? Could those be things that I really should know before I commit to meeting strangers, in some strange place, in order to do (possibly) strange things?

You see, what some of you don't seem to get is that there actually needs to be at least the appearance of trust for all of this to actually end up with everybody hooking up... Hell, even an escort won't return your call if your number is blocked. Are you going to give the black men here at least that much consideration? Or should we just fly completely blind all of the time?

One last thought... If the idea of anyone finding out about your black cock fetish is so earth shatteringly, god awful scary for you, maybe it's just not the lifestyle for you.

Now that's real talk!! Thanks Cali, for sharing your thoughts on this matter..

[Mustang Alley]

Originally Posted by vmclbc

We do not want to waste anybodys time, hence the comments on the profile page.

Considering our view point in mind should that exclude us from this site, if we choose not to be validated?
vmclbc (couple)

That's cool if you're open and honest about the fantasy. Long as you have it out there in the open like you have it..

Verified pictures don't have to be a face shot.. Take a pick of y'all together (couples profile) hold up a piece of paper with your name on it. Edit the pic so that the faces are blurred or just trim that section off... There ya go a verified picture!! Pic doesn't have to have a face..

Oh and I love the fact y'all wrote on your profile that's it's just fantasy.. Other fantasy couples need to the same. Nice job!!! ��

[Lovingsex2012]

Thats ridiculous caliblk. There are tons of people, probably a majority, enjoying fetishes and lifestyles that they dont allow the public to know about. And they are having a wonderful time. With my wife and I, if someone is interested we give our cell numbers and exchange regular face pics that no one on earth could look at and say "oh they are on a swinger site." We have done this long enoigh to know how to let the other person know we are real. If you post a pic on here someone could pull the site up and show others you are on it.

Hell, my wife had an account on this site WITH pics and a racist black guy got in here, who I still tell her was a juvenile, and at first was extremely sexist towards her and then he accused her of being a man. He is lucky I have no idea where he is. But that was done even with pics posted. So we decided to just let me be on here and I just think its best we continue meeting people the way we were. Again, my wife, by letting the guys know she was real the way we handle it, has now been chatting and been with some very nice guys from the site.

To be honest we are on other swinger sites and this is not a problem on them. This is the only site where white and black guys are pretending to be someone they are not.

But to respond to caliblk honestly, the lifextyle suits us fine. We love it. We just dont advertise our pics on sites. Its just our preference and it has worked fine for us. Even if people posted pics it doesnt prove its really them. Im like all of you sick of black and white guy fakes, but I dont see any real way to stop them. Some posts could be blocked by the admins of the site. That might help.

[CaliBlk4U]

I think I understand where you're coming from Lovingsex2012, and it does sound like you're willing to share, once a connection starts to take shape. You don't sound like the "extreme" case I was talking about... We've all seen those, and it doesn't matter if they have a profile pic or not. These are the people with no city in their profile, much less even a state. They throw up a "love-to-meet" posting and don't even bother to tell anyone where they're from.

The fake white guys who like to slither around this place destroy the experience for everyone. They seem to get off on what they do, but it's like pissing in your own beer -- at the end of the day it doesn't make any sense, and just drives all us black men (that they seem so hot for) away.

So we ask for pics -- as some sort of weak, useless proof that the person on the other end of the Internet connection is who they say they are. Not to out you to your friends and fellow PTA members, but to have at least a little assurance that its not another runaround... But it usually is. And the most you can usually hope for is a hot picture that you haven't already seen someone else pass off as theirs on some another site.

This lifestyle is mine -- I've been in it since grade school... But the associated websites sometimes almost kill it for me.<end rant>

[Lovingsex2012]

I fully understand. For some reason this site just attracts fake black and white men. Im not sure why. It does get old. Its not just fake white men though. Dont be fooled. Its dumbasses in both races. I wish they would leave the site all together.

[Mustang Alley]

Originally Posted by hoMichelle4bbc

Hubby (slydog) comment:

Easily recorded, and streamed too. Yes, it matters, any corroborating breadcrumb in a trail has evidentiary value.

Trust ain't the issue, probative material evidence compromising discretion and leading to real life exposure is. As an example, one might trust another, but that trust does not extend to the other's spouse (or others you were unaware of) and her/their team of attorneys armed with the rules of Discovery, subpoenas, and/or court ordered eDiscovery, and etc. on a moral turpitude character assassination mission in a marital or custody case.

Any couple would certainly be more than uncomfortable in a 7 hour (allowed by rules) video deposition (with SDT - subpoena duces tecum ordering surrender of copies of all communications, emails, voice mails, etc., etc.) if they were inadvertently caught in the middle of another’s drama. In a deposition, counsel for the Plaintiff can ask you anything they want, your whole life history, and you have to answer or be held in contempt. It is worse than open court where the Judge is a referee and determines admissibility, etc. There is no referee in deposition and it is all public record. I’m certain nobody here would be comfortable on the stand in open court discussing activities related to participation in this site or another’s “moral turpitude” either.

Control risk, or risk control.

I/We will say no more in this thread.

Lol, I'm really not sure what to say to your reply. I have read it 3x and still not sure if I wanna say something smart ass or feel sad that you are that paranoid that big brother is watching all post on porn sites. If you truly feel that way then why are you here? Just because you're not validated doesn't mean a thing. There is footprints no matter what and in today's age they can trace you back here if they wanted. If your so worried about those risk, why are you even on ili?

Not illegal to be here, you just worried that if your ever dragged into court (for whatever reason) you don't want them learning of y'all's BBC desires. Geesh would that be such a bad thing? If so then maybe y'all need to start playing with BWC and leave those BBC to me. 😊 Lol

[Lovingsex2012]

The biggest thing with us is we just need to be discrete. We enjoy this and it works for us and we have been doing this successfully for a good while. There are probably more people desiring to be discrete than not. In any lifestyle. I understand the aggravation against the fake black and white guys on here, I really do, but I think they would be able to get in here no matter what.