Interracial Forums » Interracial Forum » General Interracial Discussion

[IRfan1970]

Originally Posted by ThickNiggaDick

People who are experienced in the lifestyle know that this is typically how it works. So, those guys out there who are complaining about it need to stop it. If you want to fuck another man's wife, then that man needs to be your collaborator and confidant in this, not your enemy/adversary. So, if you're feeling ANY animosity towards the role of the husbands at anytime, then this is not the sport for you. And, I advise you to get out of it ASAP.

Here's the reality. "FOR REAL" swinging is mostly a couples thing with singles thrown into the mix. That means that if you are a single man looking to hump the Mrs., then on some level you're going to have to deal with the man of the house. That's just the reality, so get used to it. Or, get out of swinging. Here's a few simple things to look for to make sure you're dealing with somebody who's legit, and not just some closet homosexual who's looking to suck you dick (or more likely just yank off to the thought of it).

Now, after you've had your first contact with the supposed "husband" (and definitely after the second), you need to be able to speak to the Mrs. directly if they're serious. If they're legit, you won't even have to ask. They'll offer that contact. But, if the wife is always out "shopping" or "went to see her sister " and can never get on the phone, then that's a HUGE red flag. That's because most likely THERE IS NO WIFE! Or if there is, she's not interested and/or can't commit to going through with it. They may even be fighting about it (DO NOT get involved . . . drop them IMMEDIATELY!). And what's more likely than that, SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING AT ALL. This alleged "husband" is just wasting your time. So tell him to fuck off !

Other red flags are when "hubby" asks "what would you do to my wife" or keeps asking to SEE your package. Now, you shouldn't get pissed off if the guy makes a general inquiry about your size. After all, the main fantasy of the couple might be to see her taking a HUGE Dinka warrior dong LOL! So, since the husband is making the initial contact, it's legit for him to ask about this . . . ONCE. And on a related note, TELL THE TRUTH THE FIRST TIME! You don't want your time wasted. So, don't waste theirs by LYING about the size of your dingus !

Now every once in a while, you'll get surprised when it's the female half of the couple that initiates the first "real world" contact. I mean, she'll call you right up or give you her number and have you call her. Cool! I've had that happen several times, and those experiences have shown me that these folks tend to be the most "for real" couples (wife/girlfriend makes the first "live" contact or is in on the first call). Of course, these days I guess you can throw being willing to get on cam into the mix, but still for me the true tell-tale sign I want to see is a willingness to get on the phone. There's something about being willing to give up that phone number that crosses a certain barrier thresh hold for me.

In any event, when the wife of girlfriend makes the first significant contact with you, my vast experience says she tends to be part of a couple that is comfortable with their relationship, they know what they want, and they have swinging experience. This is what you want if you're lucky enough to get it. No wasting time because she's ready to fuck! But remember, it doesn't all end there! When you meet face-to-face, you still have work to do! I mean, do you like these people? Do they seem to like you? Can you communicate? Do you want the same things sexually? And, it's not just about you and the wife! What's the husband's role going to be in it? Watch? Jack off? Join in? Video it? Take pictures? And are you down with that? Whatever it is?

How ever you decide, just remember that if you're swingin' and you want to fuck that white boy's wife, then you better remember that he's an integral part of the deal and will be involved not only with making the arrangements, but even with what goes on in the bedroom. Accept that, and you'll help yourself achieve better outcomes. And, depending on how your relationship develops with the couple, over time you might find yourself dealing more one-on-one with the Mrs. . . . but . . . if she's got a significant other then that white boy is going to ALWAYS be somewhere in the background. You single men wanting to fuck attached white women must accept this reality and learn to leverage it for a more successful, happier swinging lifestyle!

Note: I shouldn't write as if the husband will always be white. Usually he will be if you're fuckin' white women, but one time I did run into this one couple where the black hubby liked to see other bruthas dick down his blonde white wife . . . come to think of it . . . she liked gettin' dicked down by strange black men too LOLOLOL!!!!

There are also instances where it's a surprise for the gf/wife... so the comment about not being able to speak to the Mrs. is automatic fake & the such is not always the case.

[ThickNiggaDick]

Originally Posted by IRfan1970

There are also instances where it's a surprise for the gf/wife... so the comment about not being able to speak to the Mrs. is automatic fake & the such is not always the case.

True about it being a possible surprise, but I know from years of experience that totally surprising the wife with the gift of BBC is:

Number 1 - not the usual approach;

Number 2 - not advisable if she's never done it before, and

Number 3 - usually NOT legit or successful because it's usually some guy who's just dreaming and wasting somebody else's time . . . because he can't convince his wife/gf to just come right out and do it (maybe wouldn't even dare bring it up) . . . or is just another homosexual wanting to lead somebody along down some path that leads to nowhere . . . except for everybody beatin' off

I'm not saying there aren't couples where setting up a surprise for the wife/gf doesn't happen. What I'm saying is that playing the odds, you're much more likely than not to be dealing with a fake. After all, that's mostly what's out there anyway in the first place . . . fakes and flakes . . . and nothing's changed!

The types of situations where I have seen the "surprise" work best is when all the parties involved actually already know each other and/or are known to each other as swingers. Maybe they've been together before or have attended parties together, etc. Or, maybe you have a group of people who have established good reputations for themselves in the lifestyle and who are known for putting on surprise gang bangs or something. And then, say the husband decides to surprise the wife on her birthday with some known BBC that will be down with the scene.

This is in opposition to trying to set up a surprise involving total strangers with no "industry rep" at all. Not that it never happens, but it usually doesn't work out. And FAKES and FLAKES being the main actors in the background is an overwhelming reason why. People who already know and trust each other or who have established their reputations have gotten around that barrier. So, surprising the wife/gf under those circumstances can work out much, much better. But when you're still TOTAL strangers to each other . . . you know absolutely nothing about one another . . . that barrier is some kind of HIGH and normally doesn't get crossed. Reason number one being that fakes and flakes are at the heart of it all.

I personally would not attempt to meet with any couple where the husband or boyfriend claims he wants to "surprise" his wife or girlfriend. For one thing, that's just not the way I want to start things off. I want some kind of contact with a woman before I want/decide to fuck her. I need something. I'm a man so I don't need much LOL! But something. And second, I've just had too many experiences where I know the other guy is full of shit, and I'm not about to let him waste my time. These are the same motherfuckers who want you to "tell me what you would do to my wife" or "seduce my wife" . . . these kinds of requests and "I want to surprise my wife" can often be found together in so many stinky clods of BULLSHIT

Now, due to my "negative outlook" on this could I potentially be missing out on somebody who is in fact legit and on the up-and-up? Yes, I could be. Absolutely. But in this game where there are SO MANY fakes and flakes, I'd rather play the odds and play the game in the way that suits me best personally. That involves placing a premium on not letting other people waste my time. And so, for me that includes practicing the "Holiday Inn" approach to swinging . . . NO SURPRISES (for those of you who don't know/remember, "no surprises" was Holiday Inn's main marketing slogan many years ago). And besides, some of the new/remodeled Holiday Inn Hotels have some nice rooms for having interracial sex in I don't know about other kinds of sex, but they're good for interracial fucking

[keepit100SouthFL]

Originally Posted by ThickNiggaDick

You make some valid points. One time years ago I met with this couple, and the husband was like he was directing a f'in movie or something . . . do this, do that, this way, then that . . . fuck that. Occasionally you will get a couple that wants to call all the shots. They figure they can because they got the pussy. Had one tell me I had to agree to being videoed or no pussy . . . yeah, well like Miss Alley said I'm not "thirsty" . . . wasn't thirsty then and ain't thirsty now, so I told the husband what he could do with his demands. Put 'um in the same place where he could put that camcorder Single guys in the lifestyle are somebody too.

Right. So that's where the disconnect is usually, but of course what one (black) guy won't do another one of course will and they're like the trained seal doing whatever for some white girl sex and acceptance. I'm of course not saying all couples/men in couples swinging are like that towards singles but way too many are and I'm def not the one. Even though you're the black guy you bowing down to their/his demands makes you a bitch no matter how much of a fake dom thug tough guy act you put up. Cooperation gotta be there or it's adios early.

[ThickNiggaDick]

Originally Posted by keepit100SouthFL

Right. So that's where the disconnect is usually, but of course what one (black) guy won't do another one of course will and they're like the trained seal doing whatever for some white girl sex and acceptance.

And that my friend is what we call some thirsty ass bruthas. Like black men in a Barbie Cummings porno flick . . . nuthin' but "props" to a white girl!

Note: For you white folk who don't know, "thirsty" = desperate.

[BlkmanSweden]

Originally Posted by ThickNiggaDick

And that my friend is what we call some thirsty ass bruthas. Like black men in a Barbie Cummings porno flick . . . nuthin' but "props" to a white girl!

Note: For you white folk who don't know, "thirsty" = desperate.

Kind of reminds me of that film called 'Ghost Ship' where that white woman ghost led the black dude to his death

[Mustang Alley]

Originally Posted by BlkmanSweden

Kind of reminds me of that film called 'Ghost Ship' where that white woman ghost led the black dude to his death

But I recall yelling and screaming at the guy. DON'T do it. DON'T fall for the lies but of course he didn't listen. Lol. I mean really!?!?! Haha BlkSwed, never actually thought about him being thirsty. Smh. That was extreme thirsty. Death by thirsty. Lol.


~~~~~

Smooches 💋 for our TND as always love your informative post. Informative and forceful (such a turn on) Nope not blowing smoke up your ass. .lol. tis the truth.

[jimbrowski]

@ thickniggadick
not necessarily th case., and this is no disrespect to men with actual injuries or medical problem relating to not being able to please their wives.
First, its not necessarily a complaint; its more of a nuisance, and a turn-off;
second, I didn't come to this decision based off of the correspondence with individuals on this site; this has been a feeling I've had for the 15+ years or so that I've been in and out of the 'swinger' lifestyle;
third, and more importantly; with the exception of a few things, there's no standard way in doing things that are considered normal, so certainly there's no set standard way of doing things that are considered abnormal, such as having someone fuck your wife for whatever reason;
Let's be clear; the site is called iloveinterracial.com not ilovecuckhold.com.
In regards to dealing with the "man of the house". That title is absolute, and if your allowing another man to have sex with your wife then that title is null and void, I dont care how you try to slice it. In keeping with that, there has to be RESPECT then TRUST then UNDERSTANDING. if you want a void to respect your "happy home" or "sanctity of marriage" then you have to respect the void and his/her values as well.
In the past 15 years I've only been to 6 parties/gatherings, and out of those 6 I had 5 encounters, all of which were the women approaching me and interviewing me, so to speak.
I've also dealt with the want-to-be controlling spouses and I've heard all of the excuses as to why they need to be involved (safety, screening, pictures, video recording, etc); If you've been in the lifestyle for a bit then all of these excuses are ULTRA lame as you have to do the leg-work. How many husbands/boyfriends ask for a background check, or better still, a std panel??? Very few, if any! So again, that "man of the house" title, is fruitless.
What it all boils down to is either they're selfish, insecure, and in some cases abusive (extreme control to a certain extent is abusive), or all three; when all they need to do is be truthful within themselves.
I remember this dude that starting talking to me with his wife right next to him; I just starting talking with his wife, and he cut in and stated how I could talk with him, and how everything needed to be approved by him and such. I told him that wasn't interested at all, and that's what I've always done and will continue to do. The issue that I had with this guy and those of his ilk, was that he tried to come off like he was doing me a favor, and that I needed to be kissing his ass and grateful for him giving me a chance to fuck his hideous wife. Now, keep in mind I'm in my 20's at the time and these parties were full of women that were 40-60 year old that weren't really attractive nor did they have decent bodies. I would say there were about 20-30% good looking women at ALL of these type of parties, and this guy's wife was no exception; she DID NOT look good, and the audacity of this guy acting as if he was doing me a favor was real turn-off. Coincidentally, if anyone wants to know what turns a black man on? it's a woman that has enough confidence to approach and let us know that's she's interested.
Why should I sit and be interrogated by some schmuck because of his sordid fantasy; I refuse to subscribe to any of that.
Whether it's his, her, or a mutual fantasy, the women ultimately has to be comfortable with the void. What I do know is that if the husband/boyfriend is comfortable, and the women isnt, then the encounter probably won't happen; if the woman's comfortable, and her husband/boyfriend isnt, then the women will make that encounter happen some kind of way, even if it means going behind her husbands/boyfriends back. Accept it or not, sex is a very integral part of any relationship between consenting adults, so If a void is having frequent or even seldom sex with a wife; it will eventually develop into some kind of relationship; albeit sexual, it's still a relationship.
This has everything to do with basic logic, and how it applies, and yes I know logic is something that's severely lacking in this lifstyle.
I guess it all depends on how a couples relationship is established; whether the wife is viewed as property and (or) she's under her husbands/boyfriends control, and (or) she can't think for herself that's fine, and that's their life not mine.

[ThickNiggaDick]

Originally Posted by jimbrowski

@ thickniggadick

- third, and more importantly; with the exception of a few things, there's no standard way in doing things that are considered normal, so certainly there's no set standard way of doing things that are considered abnormal.

- If you've been in the lifestyle for a bit then all of these excuses are ULTRA lame . . . . What it all boils down to is either they're selfish, insecure, and in some cases abusive (extreme control to a certain extent is abusive), or all three . . . .

The first of your points that I quoted strikes me as the kind of thing that comes from the mouths of people who claim there's no right or wrong. It's all relative. Well, that only comes from people who just don't want to be held accountable for their own actions. "I didn't do anything wrong because there is no right or wrong!" Riiiiiiggghhhhht And as to the second quoted point of yours, I have indeed been in and around the lifestyle "for a bit", so that just strikes me as . . . with all due respect . . . pure grade bullshit! Of course, you're entitled to your opinion. And me to mine.

Oh, and something else just came to mind. If all those wives didn't look good to you and didn't do much for you, then why did you feel the need to start talking around the husband directly to the wife in the first place??? I mean, If she wasn't shit, why talk to her then? Sounds kinda THIRSTY to me. And even more than that, seems to me like it was just you getting into some kind of immature power play with the husband. Since you said you were in your 20's, then that's most probably exactly what it was. I was once in my twenties and immature too, but even then I understood that it generally wouldn't be a good idea to talk to a strange man's wife and totally ignore him while he's sitting right there, even if I could get away with it

Respect yields respect. If you give it, then it will be returned in kind. And if not, then keep stepping until you get to the next one.

[drknockbootzz]

Originally Posted by ThickNiggaDick

The first of your points that I quoted strikes me as the kind of thing that comes from the mouths of people who claim there's no right or wrong. It's all relative. Well, that only comes from people who just don't want to be held accountable for their own actions. "I didn't do anything wrong because there is no right or wrong!" Riiiiiiggghhhhht And as to the second quoted point of yours, I have indeed been in and around the lifestyle "for a bit", so that just strikes me as . . . with all due respect . . . pure grade bullshit! Of course, you're entitled to your opinion. And me to mine.

Oh, and something else just came to mind. If all those wives didn't look good to you and didn't do much for you, then why did you feel the need to start talking around the husband directly to the wife in the first place??? I mean, If she wasn't shit, why talk to her then? Sounds kinda THIRSTY to me. And even more than that, seems to me like it was just you getting into some kind of immature power play with the husband. Since you said you were in your 20's, then that's most probably exactly what it was. I was once in my twenties and immature too, but even then I understood that it generally wouldn't be a good idea to talk to a strange man's wife and totally ignore him while he's sitting right there, even if I could get away with it

Respect yields respect. If you give it, then it will be returned in kind. And if not, then keep stepping until you get to the next one.

As a person that has been in this lifestyle for a while too......You sound Like the ONLY One on this thread that is talking from Experience and NOT "KEYBOARD JOCKEY" sideline opinion... Respect!

[Oakland412]

well there are two ways this works. either the guy is single and just trying to get some kind of hook up on his own, or he is married but she's not really down.

second scenario is what others have said - the man is the screener and you have to deal with it.

it's frustrating because everyone is different and some men want total control of the entire scenario. and some of the single men want to just get in and get out as easily as possible.

it's important to note that aside from the bi and gay men who are using these forums and ads as a way to satisfy their cravings - every person, couple, etc. is very different. sometimes you have to be very patient within reason before they are comfortable. i've seen it go from email to sex same day and i've seen it go for months before a woman was ready because the connection mentally was very vital.

but if you're in this lifestyle thinking that you're just going to show up and knock boots with some guys wife, gf, partner, fuckbuddy or whatever without passing some level of test you're not going to find much success.

Again, I understand the frustration with the single men who have guys constantly wanting to see their junk and "meet first". It's so blatant and I've been there when I was the single guy in the lifestyle. Gets old fast.